Another day
Of agonizing cries
Of pain, and loss
The smell of rotten bodies
The blood carved on the mud
Stained with hatred
And firing guns
A non-stop cry
Dare not stand up For it is suicide
Ask your self
Shall I live, or die?
Though now limited choices
Shall I be with god?
Will he take me?
The fear in one others eyes
Stench of gas builds up
Sucking the life of him
Dare not stand up
For it is suicide
Shall I live, or die?
Though now limited choices
Shall I be with god?
Will he take me?
The fear in one others eyes
Stench of gas builds up
Sucking the life of him
Dare not stand up
For it is suicide
All burned down to dust
Smoke scatters the air
This is not what they came for
Not what they wanted
But the only direction
They have to face it
Dare not stand up
For it is suicide
Another day
Another life
They lie on the cold floor
Dead and gone
But enemies no more
Only human Like us, like them
Then it starts again
Dare not stand up
For it is suicide
This is war
World War I
Citations:
http://xroads.virginia.edu/~MA04/wood/mot/images/stills/arms_gravesWWi.jpg http://www.english.uiuc.edu/maps/ww1/images/34.jpg http://www3.eou.edu/hist06/images/soldierfighting.jpg http://www.army.mil/asianpacificsoldiers/Images/wwi.jpg http://media-2.web.britannica.com/eb-media/45/65945-004-1F0658DC.jpg
2 comments:
Niki,
Your poem was really good! I loved your repetition in each stanza with the, "Dare not stand up, For it's suicide." I also liked your grouping of the stanzas. Also, the repetition adds a really nice effect to the poem. I think your title could be called something like "Suicide, Dare Not Stand Up, or For It's Suicide," because of the repetition. I think you could change you last stanza to, "Dare not stand up, for it's suicide." I also, think you could change your last picture; it's very unclear and pixelated. I cannot read the last word.
Otherwise, great job! Your poem was really amazing.
Kirenjot
good rhythm. i like the way you end each stanza with "Dare not stand up
For it is suicide". my only correction is that in the first stanza, a return was accidentally deleted i think. also, what's the deal with the last picture? apart from that, it's great.
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